Vices we love: Fuck you. Pay me.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Fuck you. Pay me.

Most teachers here have a mercenary attitude to human interaction. Unless there is money or nookie in it, we're not interested. Now, as Chris Rock would say "I don't approve....but I understand." Living here, even in Seoul, means you're an exotic animal in a cage. Men stare at you idiotically in the subway. Women (I hesitate to call them grown women) giggle loudly and point at you. At a certain juncture, it is easy to say: "Bah. Go away fuglies." When I first got here, I tried to engage the locals (I sound like Columbus now-at least I didn't say "natives") In conversation. It was useless:

Korean: (staring and grinning)
Me: Hello.
Korean: (laughter) Hello.
Me: How are you? (What's you name? Does your mom have herpes? Can I give it to her? Doesn't matter what I say, the reply is always the same)
Korean: Where you from?
Me: New York
Korean: (more laughter) America?
Me: (You would think that a sophisticated Seoulite would have at least heard of New York but no). Yes.
Korean: Ahh. America.
Me: Yes.

The conversation usually stops there. Many say that this is just about getting a free English lesson from you but I honestly don't see what they can learn from the above. I think it's the dirty little thrill of talking to a hairy, smelly foreigner. I can just imagine the conversation at dinner that night.

Kim Jr.: I saw a fucking miguk (American) today.
Kim-Soo: You did not!
Kim Jr: Did too!
Kim-Soo: Did he smell?
Kim Jr: They all smell.
Kim-Soo: Yeah. Hee-hee.
Kim Jr.: Hee hee.
Kim-Soo: Wanna play warcraft?
Kim Jr: Nah I'm gonna look at the new torture-blood-guts comic I got today. With boobies.
Kim-Soo: Okay. More kimchi?

After a few encounters like this, most teachers retreat to the online world. I find myself doing the same and since I am the sort of hermit who needs human contact- be it a conversation, physical contact or whatever- I'm going to take a break from blogging. It's summer and whatnot.

P.S.: Please stop spamming the comments section. Unless you do it with love letters and Western Union money transfer notices.

9 Comments:

Blogger peemil said...

God damn. And I just got back into it.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Warped Bryce said...

somebody once told me that the orgin of the derogatory word "gook" was the confusion G.I.'s had during the Korean war when they would say "miguk" and it sounded like, "me Gook".

Know if that's true? I'm curious.

12:13 AM  
Blogger peemil said...

Sounds like a valid theory to me.

1:40 AM  
Blogger GoodGirllove said...

Spam with love..

hey dorko....

I miss yee... (((HUGGERZ)))

6:11 PM  
Blogger Adalmin said...

That's a valid, if highly ironic, theory.

By the way, most Asians do this. I'm an Asian, and I'm guilty of ang moh scouting (ang moh: red hairy man, synonymous with Caucasian).

12:07 PM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

Red hairy man? Geez you wild and crazy Singaporeans. Whatever will you think of next? Letting chewing gum into your country?

Peemil-booze is still possible for a limited time only.

10:32 AM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

Loves hugs etc to you-know-who. :)

10:33 AM  
Blogger Lucecilla said...

Hi there - Gook thesis is true and is connected with the only time I ever got into a street fight. Yes, it was in Shitaewon. I hate that damn hill.

Interestingly it is the Scots who are the culprits behind that latin American word "gringo". It comes from the song by Robert Burns, our national poet called "Green Grow the Rashes O!"

I´ll sing you one-o
Green grow the rashes o
the greatest times I ever spent
were spent amoung the lasses o

The song, being a catchy march was a favourite of the er, gringos, when they went to slice up rape and pillage Mexicans. Hence, Gringo.

Robert Burns got around, but comments that this song is actually about veneral disease are utterly unfounded.

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi I reached your blog by googling "seoulite" I was just curious if that word is a well known vocab. I read your post and understand pretty well how you'd feel...I am born in Seoul and now working in NY. visit my blog (professionalsoul.blogspot.com) when you feel too lonely in Seoul or have any question regarding the city. GL.

3:36 AM  

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