Where Asiatown discovers that he is totally in the wrong business

I should be in politics. This realization came to me while I was reading this list of nicknames bestowed by G.W.

Consider Turd Blossom.
Reflect upon High Prophet, which is so laden with meaning I won't even get into it.

But the most fascinating fun fact is that 60,239,000 people voted for this man. This mean that 60.239 million people looked at him and said "That man is presidential timber." All this got me thinking. If I could just learn to cut some trees, say some New Testament prayers and bankrupt a few of my father's companies, I too could make it. But G.W. is more than that. He is a symbol, a human Rosarch test. To some people he is dumb and evil. To other's he is like old J.C. but way cooler. Consider the rumors that a significant portion of those 60.239 million voted for him because of his smile. Ponder that as we cross over to Slovakia....

....where we find, in a town located a mere sixty kilometers east of here, the distinguished mayor and possible presidential timber, Jan Slota. Known for, among other things, threatening to invade Budapest with tanks and drunkenly vomiting on patrons at a Bratislava restaurant, he is the pride, the gem of the region.

As for me, my writing is going well, and I must thank the gentleman who inspired me with the following reflection about his collegue:

"(He was) a ghost with a constant erection haunting a midlife crisis."