Vices we love: Rafael's timely entry

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Rafael's timely entry

As asiatown77 recuperates from his daily degradations, Rafael has been kind enough to step into the breach, in hopes of taking our readers to levels of vindictiveness the likes of which they have never experienced first hand. But first, an introduction from Asiatown:

My father always said that hatred was a valid emotion. Often he would ask me: "Do you hate me son?" and would reply to his own question, much like a more self-involved Aristotle "That's okay. Hatred is an emotion too." I pour my meager energies into hating people on an individual basis. Racial or religious hatred is not only petty and immoral, it is also lazy. Think of all those people- like me- who go the extra mile to explain why they despise a certain person: "I loathe Terry with a passion because he openly defies me at every turn." "I despise Michelle because she hasn't lifted a finger in the last three months and has no respect for me." Of course, the reverse is also true. While some (Koreans come to mind) blindly pledge allegence to their own version of the West (read- mid- twenties, female, white, blonde, minimum 36DD, high quality booty and an accent out of Orange County, CA) or others think a specific group is the best there is, I love (yes! I too am capable of love! Don't ever mention this to anyone offsite) not groups but individuals. Minna is the sweetest little girl in 1st grade. She goes a long way to making me feel non-suicidal about my predicament. The principal of the school happens to be a really nice guy. Edria is a better person than she is willing to admit. And so on...
Koreans, by and large, do not do this. They have a very specific idea of the world and it goes like this: White people with blonde hair are great. Young white people with nice bodies are awesome. Mexicans are dirty. People from the Phillipines are beastly. Africans are ugly and stupid. It makes the world a much simpler place except for moments like this:

"You are Christian?"
"Ummm.....not percisely." (Why can't I just lie?)
"Huh. So what you are?"
"I'm Jewish."
"Chewish? What is Chewish?"

Now, ordinarily, we would go through an atheistic Jews' shotgun version of history. There was a calf, a desert, a brush, a couple of pyramids, some kid in a lake, a guy getting hammered (in a bad way), some Spanish stuff, a bad guy with a mustache and one testicle, and before you know it my uncle is running around some beach talking in a funny once-dead language while scratching the bullet wound he got back in '73. Not necessarily in that order.

But with Koreans, this would be a pretty useless excersize. (How do you spell excersize? Is it like exorcism?) So instead I just say "We eat really good cuts of beef." Problem solved.
This is a rather extensive lead in to today's topic with 5th grade (the only ones I can actually teach), which was pen pals. I use the Let's Go books and the pen pal for this exercise was Rafael from Mexico. Oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

"Teacher, Mexico no!" Mexico dirty!" (Dirty is the most overused word in the Korean student vocabulary.)
"Mexico ugly!"
"Ugly Mexico!" (Points for original linguistic twists.)
"Living La Vida Loca!" (I made that up. Sadly.)
But now, Rafael is finally here. He will be making intermittent appearances (timed to coincide with Asiatown77s' laziness) to help Korean youths understand the world that is Not Korea.

Q: (This question, like most submitted, was not written by a Korean student. Rather, his imbecillic grunts were transcribed by Steven Russo. Steven is a proudly non-recovering alcoholic from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. He is forty-three years old and has been living in Korea, as he likes to point out "since before the IMF crisis". Before coming to Korea, Steven sold cigarettes from the back of his buggy to rebellious Amish teenagers.) Rafael, you eat riceee?

A: Hey fuck you. You think we all sit around eating rice? Fuck you, I say. (Bear in mind, Rafael is making his debut. Nervousness is understandable.)


Blogger Lucecilla said...

Mexico dirty? Well yes. But parts of Korea would make Northern Mexico look like a convent on an Holy Day of Obligation. I love Mexico, mexico rocks, has great artists the best muscians in the universe, and things are easier, much easier (poorer, ganted, but easier) for a lady of my Honourable Profession in Latin America than in Asia.

After years of Asia and all the bullshit (me being the IDEAL teacher in every respect except the Orange County Accent - I was told to use it though in the classroom -) let's just say I love latin culture. It's dirty, but it has an honest dirt about it. Mexico keeps death -and dirt - close by, and in IMHO it's a much healthier way of dealing with it.

So good luck to Raphael, may the angelitos watch him, and as they say in latin "iligitimii non carborundum" - (never let the bastards grind you down).

2:04 PM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

Think poorer and vastly more honest Koreans and you got Latin America. If I could save a decent amount while being there, I would be off to Costa Rica in a heart beat. Seriously.

2:27 PM  
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