Vices we love: Men vs. Dogs (Same difference, eh?): Round 2

Monday, June 06, 2005

Men vs. Dogs (Same difference, eh?): Round 2

One of the things I miss about New York is just sitting on the park benches in the summer, relaxing and people watching. New York had a little of everything. Dogs. Rodents the size of dogs. Carriages. Beat up wrecks. Mercedeses. Old Albanian women with excruciating body odor shared the sidewalks with Puerto Rican teens in muscle t-shirts. African-Carribean-whateverian women, usually dressed up no matter the season, leaving me with a heart palpitation or three. Of course this was New York, where social contact is a sign of potential psychosis and a smile could easily mean a trip to the hospital. (Sample convo on the 'A' train:
Latin American woman: "Yeah I'm watching you. You is watching me. Motherfucker.") You don't really get that in Korea- there aren't many parks or free spaces from what I've seen and the merchants are so relentless, they will pounce on you if you spend more than a microsecond in their company. But not far from the hole I call my home is a fried chicken shack and the sidewalk in front has two puke green leather sofas to relax on. I did it tonight and it was great. A little dog came out of the fried chicken place and we seemed to get along fine until (warning: triple redundancy ahead) a brain-dead Korean male picked up the pooch and swung it around in the air. I swear, Korean men should be placed in a special leper colony for the socially daft. Anyhow today we face off between beast and dog. Contestant numero uno. In this corner, Stephen I. "Steve" Cohen, former Memphis PD advisor and polio survivor. Steve's dad, the doctor in charge of providing polio vaccinations in Memphis, forgot to get his kid in on the action. I swear to Buddha. Couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Steve "Wildman" Cohen once gave an interview to a Memphis weekly which included showing off his porn collection and discussing the joys of cannabis. L'chaim!
For contestant number two, see above.


Blogger peemil said...

"I swear, Korean men should be placed in a special leper colony for the socially daft."

There's beer coming out of my nose thanks to you.

11:21 AM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

I assume you agree with the basic premise. I believe that 75 percent of Korean boys and 25 percent of Korean girls should be cryonegically frozen until their 30th birtday. I also believe that I need to learn the spelling of cryonegically.

12:57 PM  

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