Vices we love: A perfect example of everything that is wrong with teaching English in Korea

Saturday, April 23, 2005

A perfect example of everything that is wrong with teaching English in Korea

Okay so I'm hunting for a new job. I put up a professional headshot at and since then my phone has been ringing every five minutes. Today "Kim" called:

"Hello is this Whitey Ford?"
"Singing the blues, yes Ma'am."
"I saw your resume online. Can we talk?" First lie. I did not have my resume online. Only my picture and contact info.
"Sure thing."
"I run an excellent school in Busan and wanted to know if you were interested in a position?"
"What kind of a school is it Miss?"
"It is a hakwon." So above is her second lie. There is no such thing as an excellent hakwon.
"And it is in Busan?"
"Yes, you know Busan? It's a large port city down south by the sea. Many beaches."
"That sounds great. What else can you tell me about your excellent school?" I'm gagging on my own insincerity here, but in modern times insincerity is the most genuine form of social contact
"Do you have a drivers license?"
"Yes. May I ask why?"
"Well we are located in Jingahae, a small town north of Busan and sometimes you would need to drive into the city to pick up our students." Wait for it....
"So you are NOT in Busan?"
"Near Busan."
"But not IN Busan?" Don't fuck with me lady. I have been to law school.
"Oh but very near."
"Have a nice day."
"You are not interested?" Spoken in a tone of voice that reminds me of my mother at her most manipulative and pseudo-emotional
"No Ma'am."

And as we speak, she is calling all the church-going ladies/hakwon owners down south about this disrespectful foreigner. Up yours with a twisted spoon hun.


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