Vices we love: I love nation-states

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I love nation-states

One of my M.Ed. assignments was to create a webquest for students where they would use the internet to do educational exercises. In an uncharacteristic burst of academic effort, I decided to go beyond goat porn. (Great. Now I'll be able to see on the sitemeter how many people looked up Vices We Love in a search for hermaphrodic goat orgies.)

And so, instead of naked pictures of Condolezza Rice on a goat farm, I came up with Nation States, a great little program which offers issues of such complex nature as the rising divorce rate and the chance to implement excellent solutions such as:

"Divorce should be illegal. 'For better or worse,' anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be."

No? How about...

"If couples would just call each other 'darling' once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse 'darling' at least once a day, or face a fine."

And finally, my pick....

"Abolish those arcane laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It's obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference."

Given how this game is structured, I fully expect to see something like "Gay couples from all over the galaxy come to Mipperotamia to get hitched in the Mipping chapel of love before they become intoxicated and beat each other to death with dildos. Mipperotamia's chief of police, Jay J. McJockey claims that dildo-inflicted wounds are responsible for the fact that Mipperotamia's homicide rate has quadrupled. "Them dildos sure are heavy-duty," said the chief before his untimely demise." I'll keep you bisexual goat porm addicts posted. Is Lynn from Texas still around? (Apropos nothing. It's not like I write "goat porn" and automatically think of Lynne from Texas.)


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