Vices we love: Chronicles

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Chronicles

I was talking to Edria and she suggested that I keep a journal because so many things happen to me, I have a hard time keeping track. I've noticed this too- writing a resume is torture. But I shall give it my all. Some names have been changed to protect...ah....myself.


Education

Spring 2006 (projected)
CELTA Certification Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (I am hoping)
Cambridge English Language Training for Adults
Sponsored by Oxford University

Summer 2000
Paralegal Studies Certificate Brooklyn, NY
Brooklyn College

1997-1999
B.A. in Political Science (focus on International Relations) and English Literature
University of Memphis Memphis, TN
Member of the Jewish Student Union (peripherally)
Member of the Black Student Union (tangentially)
Worked to elect the first African-American student body president
Served as an intern during the 99th legislative session in the Tennessee State Assembly for Assemblyman Ulysses Jones Jr. and Speaker James O. Naifeh


Educational Experience

The current public school that shall remain nameless until I'm canned

Ansan, South Korea May 2005-forever?

Teaching English as a Foreign Language to students between the ages of seven and thirteen, between grades one and six. Using a variety of communication methods to achieve desired results, including the Asher TPR method, grammer-related audiolingualism (as required by Korean curriculum), and the communicative approach.

Picking Our Noses and Passing Gas Academy

Seoul, South Korea January 2005-May 2005

Working as an EFL instructor in a private academy in eastern Seoul. Teaching students of various ages and levels of aptitude who were grouped together on the basis of student and parent requirements. (Too harsh? Too kind?) Position prematurely terminated due to sagging enrollment and financial constraints imposed upon the institution by the lack of any coherent business plan.

GRT Communications Inc.

Guangzhou, China September 2004-November 2004

Employed (unbeknownst to myself) on a tourist visa, the duration and validity of which was called into question by Chinese government authorities. Worked as a copyeditor of translated new items. Also taught adult students in small groups and sometimes individual sessions.

City University of New York

New York, NY Summer 2004 academic term

Adjunct professor of legal studies. Instructing sixteen students in a paralegal certification course offered by CUNY BMCC (Borough of Manhattan Community College.) Although I was offered a second term in the fall, said offer was made only after I committed myself to GRT Communications.

P.S. 153

Washington Heights, NY Fall 1999 academic term

Employed, ever-briefly, to teach small groups of second and third graders remedial reading skills. Provisionally certified by the state of New York to teach Social Studies, English and Kindergarden to 6th grade. Position terminated due to applicants' utter inexperience and cluelessness as well as employers' desire to hire a politically connected relation for the position in question.


Legal Education

Touro Law School
Fall 2001-Spring 2002

Completed the 1st year of Touro Law school prior to academic dismissal. Was later diagnosed as being learning disabled due to childhood stroke. Won Moot Court competition Best Oral Argument. Earned 'B' grades in Contracts and Legal Writing and Analysis.

Legal Experience

Paul Weiss Rifkind Wharton and Garrison LLP
New York NY
September 2003-March 2004

Can not discuss the specifics of my employment due to binding confidentially agreement of unspecified duration. Will discuss it anyway. Worked ten hours a day, six days a week coding discovery documents in a securities class action case. Yes, it is as dense as it sounds.

The New York State Court System as well as the federal jurisdictions of the Eastern and Southern Districts of New York
2002-2004 Inclusive

Translator and interperter for the above courts. Served as the official (read, only) Hungarian translator and interperter at these courts with the majority of work coming from the Eastern District and Brooklyn Supreme Court.

Coudert Brothers
New York NY
Summer 2002

Interned at Coudert, handling international business communications and transactions between Coudert's American, Hungarian and Israeli offices. Worked under the supervision of senior partner XXX XXX. (G-d rest his soul I assume. He wasn't born yesterday. Or the day before.)


Additional Employment

Worked as an editor at Vault Inc. on a freelance basis.

Worked on several New York State and federal political campaigns including that of Howard Dean, John Kerry, Assemblyman Jonathan Bing and City Councilwoman Annabel Palma.

Interned at the radio show "Live With Steve Feurstein" with Steve Feuerstein and Tom Weiss.

Worked as an extra on several New York movie sets.

Involved in several business ventures, most notably membership in New York City Cashflow and one of its sister groups, Tel Aviv Cashflow. Also represented an inventor who sought to sell his product to various state agencies and paper mills. (The product was essentially a turbine that would generate hydroelectricity.)

Computer Skills:

Anything and everything connected with legal software, office software or teaching software.

Languages:

Fluent in Hungarian and English. Know a plethora of Russian and Hebrew obscenties. Can survive, for brief periods of time in Spanish, Mandarin Chinese and Korean.

Miscellany:
Worked on a number of political campaigns in New York City.
Worked on a free lance basis as an editor for Vault.com
Worked as a free-lance journalist for various publications, conducting interviews and doing research on a wide range of subjects.

6 Comments:

Blogger peemil said...

That's a pretty good resume...

I can drive a forklift.

9:04 PM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

I gotta respect that.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Just Wandering said...

Nice resume...why are you teaching in Korea?

5:41 AM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

I just updated it again. Gosh this is torture.

10:18 AM  
Blogger asiatown77 said...

Ahhh....why am I teaching in Korea. The 64 million won question. There are as many answers to this as there are personality types.

There is the alturist:
"Even as a youngster, when I was being waited on hand and foot by illegal Mexican laborers, I wanted to do good in this world and live like a third world prince while doing so."

There is the academic:
"Whilst researching the Sejong Dynasty and oogling pinups of Farrah Fawcett, it occured to me, as I typed with one hand, that I ought to seek out those savage Oriental beauties and be as patronizing as possible."

There is the dope fiend:
"Like Korean weed is totally the best dude! I was in Koreatown with this dude once and let me tell you dude, dude I saw like mastodons! I saw mastodons as big as Sonny Liston. Dude."

There is the 20something with an Asian fetish:
"They are really refined and totally subservient. I'm so gonna score."

There is the 40something with an Asian fetish:
"I work at a gas station off the interstate in Murdock, South Dakota. I even had sex this one time but don't make enough to go back and see her regularly. I still have blondish wisps of hair on the back of my head though and Mr. Sungs unsung Academy offered me about three times what I make here. And maybe Asian chicks will do me for free."

And lil old me? Well paralegaling isn't all it's cracked up to be and law school is probably a dream deferred so I thought I'd try out dancing monkey as an astute career move.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous paralegal programs said...

Well done on a nice blog asi own77. I was looking for information on certification paralegal and came across your post Chronicles - not quite what I was looking for related to certification paralegal but interesting all the same!

6:45 AM  

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